Randy

Randy called earlier than is polite this morning. The fat booty smacking video of Kevin is burning a whole in his brain.

"Hey, when're we gonna bust Kevin out?" He asked. I paused, checked the wall clock. Even the clock was unhappy. 7:20 AM. I lifted my coffee mug. Realized there wasn't anything in it, save for a few grounds, and slid it back on the counter. It groaned to a stop next to Mr. Coffee.

"Work boring you to death," I asked. "Because Kevin banging a slumper can't be the most pressing thing in your life."

He laughed. "I haven't made it to work just yet. In fact, I'm just sitting in traffic and watched the video again for entertainment."

"Most people listen to talk radio."

"I'm not most people."

"Oh. And here I thought everyone video taped their friends banging slumpers."

"Do I sniff the foul stench of moral superiority," he laughed.

"Samantha calls it 'snark, or snarky.' You call it moral superiority. I call it, "don't call me at 7: 20 in the fucking morning expecting a smile and a free continental breakfast."

There's a pause. The time just dawned on him. "My fault. I didn't realize the time."

"Girl or drugs," I asked, listening for the shower. "Or both." Randy is a punctuality freak. Claims it has something to do with a Chinese tradition. Anyway, there are only two things that take his mind off time. Booger sugar and a piece of ass.

He laughed. "You know me well, " he said. "Well the two are not mutually exclusive, you know."

"Found yourself a woman and some booger sugar in one night. It's going to be a banner summer," I laughed.

"Yes, yes it is."

"Anyway, it's Friday. Happy Hour?" I hear the shower go off, and glance over my shoulder.

"Well, I mean, it's Friday." I said.

"So are we gonna ask Kevin about Faith today?" He asked. The bathroom door squeaks open. My name is Samantha and I don't approve this conversation.

"Alright we'll see you down there around 4." I hang up.

"Meeting the boys for Happy Hour?" Sam asks.

"Yep," I said.