The Rebirth of Cool

Somewhere around the elements of a tortious defamation is when it happened. I wondered how I got here. How in the hell does someone like me find himself suddenly concerned with knowing and following rules? I always thought of rules as a suggestion. I grew up loathing social conventions and institutions. Rules? They were for followers, suckers and conformists. Only there to maintain the status quo. Rules existed to pigeon hole and stymie. Sure, I knew consequences existed for breaking the rules, if you got caught. But I didn't give a shit. Of course I knew you can find yourself ostracized from your schoolmates. But fuck them, anyway. I was a cool sonuvabitch. And not the way we mean it now, which is we conform with accepted codes of conduct and dress. But cool as in unaffected by, and indifferent towards, the mundane and accepted. Not so much anymore.

I took a gander through my closet last night. Staring back at me are the staid uniforms of conformity. Button down shirts. Unimaginative sweaters and cardigans. Blazers. Fucking khakis and polos--the uniform of middle management. Oxford shoes. You get the idea.

And it doesn't stop there. Oh no. The most important thing in my life right now is memorizing and applying rules. Freaking out if I can't remember that a principal is only liable for the intentional torts of an agent if a principal agent relationship exists and the agent was operating within the scope of that relationship. Ready to down a Drano cocktail if I can't remember that in order for there to be tortious trespassing the defendant only need intend to enter upon the land. I swear to fuck, I have no idea when all of this shit became so fucking important to me. What's more, I wonder if it is.

A life of following rules and conventions doesn't sound like living. Sounds like a low budget horror flick. Fuck. It's only 11 AM and I feel like a drink or six. There it is again. A social convention raising it's ugly head. No drinks before five, certainly not before noon. Fuck that. I think it's time for me to reclaim my cool. Indeed, the rebirth of cool.