Sunday, November 23, 2008

10 Annoying Things

There are probably a thousand things in the world that I find annoying. Well, maybe more than annoying. For that matter more than a thousand, but here are 10 in no particular order.

(1)Political ideology. Political ideology qua political ideology doesn't annoy me. What's annoying are people who believe a particular political ideology contains all the cures to society's maladies. Nonsense.

(2) Religious discussions. Both the religious and atheists are equally annoying. The religious presume the moral high ground, with atheists presuming the intellectual high ground. By presume I mean assuming to be true without any supporting evidence. Not only that, but I find the question of whether or not God exists wanting for practical meaning. You may as well ask how much yesterday weighs. More importantly, a personal belief system is just that, personal. Shhhh.

(3)Celebrity magazines. It's jarring that a market exists for this type of magazine. It demonstrates two things. First, regardless of age, some never mature. Second, a significant number of people wallow in quiet desperation.

(4) The current level of discourse. I'm not asking for much. I'm just asking that, should you send me an email or some other missive, it be apparent you know the difference between "your" and "you're."

(5) Homogeneity. Sameness is boring. Boring is annoying.

(6) Media as social narrative. From a psychological standpoint, I understand the need to give our environment order, and the necessarily attending framework with which to create that order. That framework just shouldn't consist of talking points, sound bytes, Newspeak, and Ted Baxter. Instead, how about reading a book written by some social commentators. Cornel West, Howard Zinn,Robert Nozick, and Noam Chomsky come to mind. Whether or not you agree with their ideas, you can be sure "vapid" won't apply.

(7) Using the word "existentialism." It's overused and rarely understood.

(8) Starbucks. Their business plan is unconscionable.

(9) Wal-Mart. See above.

(10)Using the word "postmodernism." See number seven.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Made It Home

Twelve hours later we pull into Denver. It feels good being back, but I'm glad we took the trip. It not only relaxed me, but also altered my perspective. Now we're going to grab something to eat, have a beer, kick back, and go to sleep. I'm more than a little tired.

Looking For The Game

Six hours and five minutes later we hit Albuquerque. Looking for the game on AM radio. It's probably a lost cause until we hit Colorado.

Miles Davis & Flagstaff

Almost to Flagstaff. I'm bored already, but a little Miles Davis always helps. You know I ain't making that up.

One Last Stop

One last stop for gas and ice. Not sure what song is playing. We're listening to the radio because my iPod car adapter is getting too much interference from the local radio stations. I ain't making it up.

Heading Home

Checking out and heading back to Colorado. This has been a great, relaxing time. Now it's back to the grind, but with a different perspective. Next stop: Albuquerque. I'm not making it up.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Maggiano's

For whatever reason we got a craving for Italian food. So we went to Maggiano's. There's one in Denver, but we rarely feel like the hike. But since we made the 937 mile hike to Scottsdale.....I'm not making it up.

Pool Lounging


Went to the pool, had a few drinks and relaxed a bit. As I mentioned before, we were a little tired of fast food. So for lunch we went to Whole Foods for soup and salad. True story. Didn't make it up.

Last Day

The last morning in Scottsdale. Gotta head back to Colorado tomorrow morning. Not looking forward to that, but life calls. You know I'm not making it up.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Yup

After dinner at El Torito's we were rolling around. Found some Eminem on the iPod. Fo' sho'.

Scottsdale AZ Wanderings

So anyway, we were wandering around after eating Whataburger. By the way, I love this song. No, I'm not...you finish it.

Whataburger

Ok, enough with the red meat. Since our arrival I have eaten nothing except red meat, with the exception of Eggs Benedict for breakfast. We just had Whataburger for lunch. Pretty good & you can't get it in Colorado, which was why we even went. That & Esteban gave us his recommendation. But I'm getting nervous about the possibility of developing colon cancer. So I'm definitely ordering chicken or seafood for dinner. This sort of gastrointestinal abuse you can't make up.

Kobe Beef

Last night we ate at BLT Steakhouse. I'm not sure what the BLT stands for and I don't care. What I do know and care about is Kobe beef. It was $26 an ounce and worth each and every penny. Each bite practically melts in your mouth. No, I didn't just make that up.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Cousins Subs


We picked up some Cousins Subs. Pretty good. Now rolling back to the room to have a cold brew and take a nap. You could make this up, but I'm not.

Doing Nada In Scottsdale

Just went out rolling, looking for something to eat. Listening to some Biggie. R.I.P.

The Morning Walk

So anyway, this morning, in lieu of the gym, we decided to go for a walk. The decision proved outstanding. It's a beautiful day out and we took in some of the sights. Also, we got to interact with some of the locals. Each and every one of them were friendly. Now about that beer.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Bacon Ultimate Cheeseburger

It's a good thing I worked out this morning. We decided to grab Crack In The Box for dinner, Bacon Ultimate Cheeseburger, to be exact.

Assembled Room Service

That's what it looks like fully assembled.

Room Service

We just ordered some room service, Eggs Benedict for me, Crunchy French Toast for her,to be exact.

In-N-Out Burger

Living Colorado you don't get In-N-Out Burgers or, until recently, Jack In The Box. So when we pulled into Scottsdale I hunted down In-n-Out Burger. So good. You gotta do the Double Double.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Albuquerque

Just north of Albuquerque. So far we've traveled 440 miles in 5 hours.

Trinidad,CO.

Just North of Trinidad, and I don't mean the island, but that George Clinton is making it all better.

4:25 AM

So anyway, it's 4:25 AM. The tank is full and we're heading out. I can't believe there are people on the road.

Sunday, November 09, 2008

Rolling Out In The AM.

All laundered & packed. Now I'm just knocking back a night cap, Johnnie Walker to be exact, and watching the Eagles and Giants.
Speaking of which, there was a ridiculous call by the refs. Manning, in a practical sense, was beyond the line scrimmage when he passed the ball. The initial call was illegal forward pass. The right call. The Giants, however, challenged the call and won.
The rule states the passer's entire body must be past the line of scrimmage when the ball is released. The officials ruled that Manning's right heel was even with the line of scrimmage, despite the rest of his body clearly beyond the line of scrimmage. Practical meaning anyone, Anyone? No? Then, how about a split hair? You can't make this up

Saturday, November 08, 2008

Trying again.

Trying this again. Blogger is being tooltastic, again. Think I'm making it up? Try clicking on one of the other videos.

Football On Chill Day


Watching Ohio State put it to Northwestern. This just in: Pryor is a beast. Nope, I ain't making it up.

Saturday Relax Day


Coming home from the gym. Listening to some old school hip-hop, MC Breed.If you haven't guessed by now, I ain't making it up.

Friday, November 07, 2008

Conformity Is The New Cool

Two women in front of me, one with a particularly nice ass, were discussing a recent purchase. One of them bought a pair of jeans at The Flatirons Mall. It was while eavesdropping on this conversation that it occurred to me. Doublespeak--distorts reality,creates incongruity between what is said and reality--thrives in our society as shown through a common word these two were using: cool.

Cool doesn't mean cool anymore.Cool used to mean something or someone is unaffected and unconcerned with accepted social conventions and institutions. James Dean, Marlon Brando, and the more contemporary Johnny Depp, Tyson Beckford and Megan Fox embody cool as traditionally defined. The traditional definition, however, has come to a different meaning.

Cool now means, or perhaps has become synonymous with, conformity. Something or someone becomes cool once accepted by the masses. Khakis,a particular style of haircut, black pants with blue shirts, polo shirts, or any sports apparel with its logo emblazoned on your body. These things are cool because the masses approve of them. You're cool because you wear masses approved garments, and behave in a masses approved manner.

That's not cool. That's conformity. We've morphed cool into conformity. Splicing the word cool with the definition of conformity; creating incongruity between what is said and reality, distorting reality. The reality is having mass acceptance isn't cool. It means a bowl of instant oatmeal is more interesting than you. I ain't making it up.

Monday, November 03, 2008

End of First Day

Anyways, this ends the first day with my new Mio. It's entertaining, and helpful, I think. I think because it's efficacy is still undetermined.

It will be a helpful gadget if it guides me towards meeting my stated goal of losing 2 lbs. this week. That means a weigh-in of 208 lbs. on Sat. morning.

If I have an issue thus far, it's the Net Calories feature. This is a helpful feature, I suppose, but I'm unsure what number to shoot for. To explain, they have a Target Calories to shoot for each day. Then, the instructions indicate that I should aim to consume that number of calories on that particular day. This is where my issue comes in.

In the next sentence, you're instructed to keep an eye on the calorie bar across the top of the watch. It gives you a visual graph of the number of calories consumed that counts towards your Net Calories for the day.

If your calorie bar gets full, or close to the end, you're instructed to eat less or exercise more to reduce your Net. So is the idea to simply keep the calorie bar from reaching full, and ignore your Target Number of calories? I ain't making it up.

By the way, I made this post from my phone. It only allows 1,000 characters. So if my explanation was a bit Delphic, I'm blaming it on Verizon.

First Day With My Mio

So, at 5 AM I drug my ass to the gym, which was made easier by the time change. I ran on the treadmill for 35 minutes with a 5 minute cool down. My trusty new Mio said I burned 719 calories. So my Net Calories reading is -719 to begin the day.

Today I'm supposed to consume 2,350 calories (the goal is to lose 2lbs/week--right now). If I hit that number, my Net Calorie reading will be 1631. I guess we will see how it goes. I do have to admit, however, 1,631 calories seems like an absurdly low number for someone my size (6'2", 210). So I'm going to monitor my energy levels and adjust my caloric intake as needed.

No, this isn't turning into a fitness blog. It's just that I bought this thing and want to use it. And since this is my blog,not yours, I'll write about whatever I want. I ain't making it up.

Sunday, November 02, 2008

Mio Watch

So anyway, I went to the mall yesterday. I needed to buy a new sport watch. The wristband to my Nike watch, after less than a year, snapped off in a manner that makes it irreparable. So I went to Sports Authority to buy a new sports watch. And because this is the second time this has happened, I wasn't going to buy another Nike sports watch, and neither should you.

I settled on a Mio Watch. It's like a personal trainer on your wrist, or so they say. I'm not certain how I feel about that. Whenever I think of personal trainers, I think of some meat head screaming at me, and me slapping the shit out of him with a dumbbell. Then, a trial that ends up with a face-to-face meeting with Bubba. If it's all the same to you, I'll pass on incarceration. So I generally stay away from personal trainers.

But back to the watch. You enter your age, weight, fitness goal and all that. Then, it gives you a target for number of calories to be consumed in a day. It also tracks your heart rate and counts calories burned during your workout. So it seems like a pretty spiffy gadget. An unexpected spiffy gadget in my case. I was just looking for a sport watch that tracked my heart rate with reasonable accuracy. This thing is dead on accurate, which isn't creepy, or even creepish, but it is a creepism. I ain't making it up.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

I ain't making it up.
As luck would have it, there is a Pappadeaux nearby. Now to see a man about a hurricane. I ain't making it up, either.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Not U2, But I'm So Sick Of It!

As it turns out, I'm really sick of McCain's campaign ads and speeches. None of them have a single redeeming quality. They're rife with personal attacks, sensationalistic language, and quotes that have been taken out of context in order to distort the opposition's stance. This isn't what he promised as a presidential candidate.

Both candidates promised campaigns that would be conducted with class, civility, and dignity. Attributes that should be a given when campaigning for the presidency. Yet McCain departed from this promise in an almost grotesque manner.

In the waning days of the campaign trail McCain has resorted to some despicable themes in his speeches and ads. He has painted the Democratic nominee, Barack Obama, as a socialist, a terrorist, a radical, a Muslim, and anti-American. All volatile, dangerous, and irresponsible accusations. All in pursuit of the presidency.

Being President of the United States requires gravitas, dignity, diplomacy , judgment,and class. These are all words and concepts conspicuously absent from The Oval Office the last eight years with predictable results. Yet John McCain promises change if elected. Change isn't what you hear and see when listening to his speeches or ads. I ain't making it up.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Football Sunday


As it turns out, we had a craving for some BBQ. Under that lid is some soon- to-be-off-the-chain ribs & chicken. I ain't making it up, either

Saturday, October 25, 2008

What, Me Worry?

Nevermind minor annoyances and drunken diatribes, though. Yesterday I woke up around 9 AM in good shape, which surprised me because Esteban, Corey and I took part in a little Friday Afternoon Clubbing (FAC). We get together on Friday afternoons and shoot the breeze while having a few cocktails. Yesterday the imbibe of choice was Absolut Los Angeles Vodka, which is nothing short of phenomenal, and it flowed for the better part of four hours. So you can understand why I was a bit amazed that I didn't have a punishing hangover.

At any rate, I'm sitting there wondering whether or not I'm developing a tolerance and watching a college football pregame show. Mostly because it amuses me, listening to the yammering of the Ted Baxters. They predict the future with such certitude they can't help but be amusing, on occasion. But Ted Baxter's entertainment value was surpassed by, of all things, a commercial. I'm sure the good people at John Hancock didn't intend to entertain. They did, nonetheless. The obvious and flat-footed attempt at scaring the audience into using their services drew a chuckle.

An appeal to fear occurs where one introduces the threat of an undesirable result to advance a position or conclusion. An arguer uses this form of argument when uninterested in proffering relevant evidence for their conclusion or position. The John Hancock commercials proved an obvious example of this fallacy.

In one of the commercials, a man is sitting at his computer and chatting with his wife. She tells him that she had to check the 65+ box on a financial form. He asks how long is plus. In response she types "For your mother it was 95." He then falls back in his chair in obvious consternation. Wow...what happens if we run out of money. Flash to the John Hancock logo. The argument: "If you don't go with John Hancock, you will run out of money."

In another, and this is the one that made me laugh, a man is chatting from his Blackberry with his wife. She's informing him that one of their acquaintances ran out of money and had to move in with his/her child. The man responds, "Move in with your kids? Ouch." Flash to the John Hancock logo. The argument: If you don't go with John Hancock, you will run out of money and end up living with your kids."

John Hancock introduces the undesirable result of running out of money during retirement. Then, as if this were not threat enough, marries the idea of running out money with moving in with your children. Then this irrelevant evidence is offered to sustain their position that you should employ the services of John Hancock. They chose this tact instead of producing relevant evidence to support their position, which is we should employ their services.

As it turns out, John Hancock chose an appeal to fear as an argument form. I suppose this isn't all that surprising or unusual in advertising, but given the current economic climate and the attending worries, it does seem a bit heavy handed and vulgar. An American population fretting over the condition of Wall St and its corollaries is an unseemly target for this garbage. I ain't making it up.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Myspace, Facebook, And Other Annoyances

So anyways, last night Trev and I drank 2 or 20 cocktails. Naturally, that amount of alcohol doesn't exactly inspire high brow conversation.

"Dude, what's up with commercials anymore," Trevor seemed to ask out of nowhere, but then I realized I'd been spacing off.

"What, how annoying they are," I asked.

"No, they've always been fucking annoying because they just barge in and start selling you shit you don't want or need. Now they're nails being drug across the blackboard, or a drippy faucet."

"No shit. I'd do anything to make those free credit report dot com commercials go away. Seriously, when they come on, I immediately change the channel." We laughed.

"No," he says, "Vonage. That commercial makes me wanna kick someone's ass. It's enough that they're lying to me, but then they start in with the orange and that boing noise, and the line that I know is not there...ugh."

"Right, like it's a toy or something. I hate that commercial, but I hate the new Bud Light commercials even more. The ones that everyone freezes and this tool starts tarding me out. Drawing stupid analogies about shit that doesn't have anything to do with anything," I said, "All I can think is, 'please, make it stop.'"

"No, speaking of annoying," Trev was going to change subjects and it wasn't going to be pretty, "fucking old people and Facebook."

"I have to admit," I started, "I'm at a loss. I don't do Whorespace or Facebook."

"I know, you're too cool or whatthefuckever, but you get these fossils on there who can't operate their TV remote, and they open a Facebook account. Jesus Christ in a cardigan! Stay away from the goddamn computer, gramps."

I laughed, lifted my beer and said, "Well, here's no to free credit report dot com, Vonage, Bud Light, and old people on Facebook." It was right about here we knocked back our 12th Guinness, I think. It could've been the 15th, not sure. I ain't making it up.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Twitter

So anyway, I joined this site called Twitter. Their concept is you can inform your friends as to the most mundane happenings in your life via the cellphone or web. If it's by way of cellphone, you just send Twitter a text and they post the update. If it's by way of the web, you just log onto their site and post an update. This is fine,I suppose, but my first thought was, "Who cares what I'm doing? It's not as though I'm sitting around wondering what you had for dinner, or what you're doing this very moment. And if I was, I'd call. Then you could tell me how creepy it is that I asked."

Listen, this service, Twitter, answers a clamoring from all of us for peak or unusual experiences. We seek these out because the majority of our lives are banal, mundane, boring,quotidian, and plebeian. And we think our lives have to be more than this; supposed to be more than this. So we look to others to not only see what else we could be doing, but to also vicariously live another person's unusual experience. But 90 percent of life is banal, mundane, boring, quotidian, and plebeian. So if you sit around waiting for a peak experience or that "rush," you're going to wake up one day staring into your colostomy bag wondering where the hell your life went to. The answer is it happened while you weren't paying attention to it.

So the way I see it is pay attention to the little everyday experiences that you have. Really pay attention to your life. It's much shorter and fleeting than any of us normally contemplate. But in the meantime, I'm going to fuck around on Twitter. It's to the left of the page. Look for yourself. I ain't making it up.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Karma, Ain't It A Bitch?

Similar to existentialism,karma is one of those overused, but rarely understood words. Words that people use to make themselves seem more interesting at cocktail parties, or trying to seal the deal at last call. Not that I care if people use words they don't understand or fully understand, as is more often the case. Nor do I care when they misuse them, or for what purpose, as noble or ignoble that purpose may be. But yesterday I really cared about the word "karma" because it related to me.

Listen, karma isn't fate, predestination, or anything of their ilk. There isn't a karmic ledger out there with good action to be randomly rewarded on one side and bad actions to be punished in the same fashion on the other. Instead karma requires intent on the behalf of the actor,and the rewards or punishment are a direct result of that intentional action; i.e.,karma is cause and effect.

For instance, if you sleep with another man's wife, it doesn't mean that by some random cosmic justice for wrongdoers you will get blasted in the face by the side mirror of a bus while waiting to cross the street on the way to work. That's not karma. On the other hand, it's karma if the bus driver happens to be the husband of said wife, he found out, and set about caving in the entire side of your skull with his side mirror. In other words, if you plant a sycamore seed, you get a sycamore. If you plant an apple seed, you get an apple tree. If you plant shit, back away from the curb on the way to work. Put another way, it's not like you plant a sycamore seed and get a Bonsai tree. All of the effects are a direct result of your actions. So you want to make wholesome decisions as opposed to unwholesome decisions. Wholesome cause wholesome result; unwholesome cause, unwholesome result. Smart decisions as opposed to dumb ones; favorable results as opposed to unfavorable results. This is something that's on full display for Jerry Jones, the Dallas Cowboys, and their fans.

The NFL Draft of 2004 presented Jerry Jones with the fortuitous opportunity of drafting Steven Jackson, who by all accounts was far and away the best running back in the draft. Not only did he have the size (6'2" 235lbs) and speed (4.42 at the combine), but he also proved to be durable by never missing a start. Inexplicably, Jerry Jones thought it somehow a good idea to pass over Steven Jackson and draft Julius Jones instead. Jones was of average size (5'10 208lbs) and average speed (4.49 over 40 yards). Not only that, but he also missed an entire season for a combination of off the field issues and academics.

This ill-conceived decision yielded a predictable result on Sunday. Yesterday saw Steven Jackson rush for 160 yards and 3 TD's on my beloved Dallas Cowboys. Not only that, but, prior to the game, Steven Jackson said that he was looking forward to playing against Dallas. It seems he wasn't all that thrilled to be passed over. You see, his favorite team was the Dallas Cowboys and he'd been given assurances that, if he was available, they would draft him. He was, and they didn't. Hey, plant a mango seed, get a mango tree. Plant shit; hey Jerry, move back from the curb. I ain't making it up.

Incidentally, there's a discussion to be had here about Jerry Jones passing over Randy Moss and now being saddled with the salaries of both T.O. and Roy Williams. But this post is longer than I anticipated and I have shit to do.

Oh, one more thing. If you're looking for a more comprehensive and nuanced discussion of karma you'll need to do some research. Or don't. I don't care.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Life is a Soap Opera


As it turns out, I haven't written a post in over a year. Not that it matters. I have found life moves at a glacial pace; think soap operas. Not that I watch them day after day, but I have deigned myself in the distant past. What never ceased to amuse, besides the absurd story lines and acting, is that nothing changed. You can stop watching for a bit, but when you tune back in there are no significant changes. The characters are still doing the same ridiculous things they were doing when you last watched. Of course there are minor changes, but not so much that you feel as though you missed something. That's the way life is--same ol' same ol' with minor changes.

One such change is that Trevor, in a paroxysm of feigned altruism, joined the Peace Corps. Feigned because Trevor joined with the idea that it would make admission to a graduate program a little easier, and pad his resume. Not that he really cared to help the indigenous, impoverished people of Georgia. I'm sure they will miss Trevor because the Russians abbreviated his stay when they started dropping bombs. Yeah, bombs have a way of changing your mind about a lot of shit, or so it's been said. However it goes, he got a new wife and all the supposed perks out of the deal. Supposed because it remains to be seen how much easier the admission process is going to be for him. To me, he didn't need to go live in squalor and dodge shrapnel to gain admission, a reasonable person would think he's smart enough. He just doesn't believe he is. Oh well, he'll figure it out one of these days.

Another new thing is my phone. A little while ago I bought a Voyager. I bought it because it has a QWERTY keyboard, which makes it easier to blog from, check and respond to email, and screw around on the Internet while standing in line at the grocery store. I ain't making it up.