A History of Whatever

"The best movie of the year." I can't help but wonder what year she was speaking of. Seriously, whatever year it is, it's a jacked up year for movies. But that is the quote that was prominently splashed on the DVD cover at Blockbuster. A History of Violence. An unabashed chunk of tripe. Honestly, a colossal disappointment. The premise showed promise, although reminiscent of a Long Kiss Good Night. In short, the main character, played Viggo Mortensen, appears to be a midwestern small town family man. A Philly heavy, Ed Harris, shows up and recognizes him as someone who has a penchant for killing people in the old neighborhood. Harris continues on to provoke and prod Tom Stall (Mortensen) into admitting that he is Crazy Joey. There you have it.

Now this could have been so much better, but the movie just fell flat. The most interesting thing about it is when Stall's wife, played by Maria Bello, dresses up in her cheerleader outfit from high school and the two contort themselves into a painfully awkward 69. Anyway, from there the movie proceeds at a tectonic pace and ultimately resembles unleavened bread. In short, I wouldn't bother with this movie.