Poor Goth Wookie

Because the urge didn't strike. That's all. I didn't post yesterday because I didn't feel like it. Seriously, sometimes I read other blogs. Occasionally you come across one where the author hasn't posted for a bit, or they missed the previous day. The opening paragraph is invariably an apology for missing an entry or two. I always get a laugh out of the misplaced contrition. The way I see things, volition is a perquisite of adulthood. Generally, you don't have to do things when you don't feel like it. Really, you're not going to get grounded, or sent to bed without dinner, if you don't write in your blog each day.

That's what I was chuckling to myself about when I heard Sam say, " You have to turn the card around." We were walking to the grocery store when she decided that she wanted to buy a tanning package. So, naturally, I had to accompany her. I think she planned it. I think the look on people's faces when an African-American man walks into a tanning place amuses her. I let her have her fun.

Anyway, I snapped out of my reverie in time to see Sam hand over a credit card to a Goth wookie. The wookie swiped the card and said, "Your card's been declined." Given that Sam is obsessive about paying off credit cards each month, I knew there was some sort of mistake. Seriously, she's obsessive.

A look of amusement passed over Sam's face before she said, "You have to turn the card the other way."

"No, I said the card's declined," said the wookie. I took a couple steps back. This was not going to work out well for the wookie, and she didn't see it yet. I find amusement in other people's stupidity.

"Oh, I heard you. Did you hear me?" Sam said in a tone that belied the impending verbal ass kicking.

"Look, ma'am," wookie started. Sam snatched the card from the wookie, turned it the correct way and ran it through the scanner. And lo and behold, it worked.

"Oh, I guess it's working now," wookie stammered sheepishly. I shook my head in wonderment. It's hard to convincingly pretend to be that stupid. Yet, here was the wookie. Maybe she wasn't pretending. I wondered if her parents had any children that lived.

"Is the owner here," Sam asked. Don't look now, wookie. But here comes your long overdue ass kicking.

"Oh, she doesn't work until tomorrow, but we're all good here now," said the wookie.

"Oh, we're a long way from all good. Cancel the transaction," Sam ordered.

"Wh, what?" The wookie stammered.

"You heard me."

"I can give you a discount. It's okay."

"I'm going to decide what's okay. Cancel it."

"What's wrong with the discount?"

"I'm coming back tomorrow, and I bet your boss gives me a much larger discount. I'm also willing to bet she's going to lighten the payroll just a bit, too." And the wookie is down and out for the count!

The wookie cancelled the transaction. I thought for a second the wookie was going to cry. I silently begged her not to cry. If she cried, I didn't think I could contain my laughter. I wasn't sure I wanted to contain it.

Sam returned the card to her purse, turned to me, rolled her eyes and said, "Did this just happen?" I burst into laughter as we walked out.