Now What?

Then suddenly you wake up one morning and you don't have shit to do. You studied for weeks-- months. Then, you go to an awesome hotel resort and forget it all. And, then, there you are. 5:30AM and you're wondering what to do with the day. Now what? Then suddenly you wake up and realize you need a job. That's what's "now what." I've decided that "now what"s suck.

It seems that I'm forever thinking, or saying, "If I could just get this (whatever "it" is), then everything will be cool." Then, I get it and find out that it sucks. Not sucks like cancer or anything else terminal. But just sucks like a summer cold.

So here I sit, sipping coffee and pouring through the job postings on Careerbuilder.com and Monster. Once again thinking, "If I could just get a job to hold me over until I get my bar results, everything will be cool." But it won't. I'll get some job and it will suck in some "itch in the back of your throat" kinda way. Then, I'll sit there at that job, wallowing in all of it's sucking glory and wonder, "Now what?" Maybe the key to happiness and continued satisfaction is to appreciate right here and right now. Or just accept that some things are supposed to suck. They are doing exactly what they are supposed to do, and I should just accept it--and leave it. Who knows?

Maybe I should just end this twaddle right here.

Broadmoor Samadhi

Zen. It's something that I practice daily and live my life by. I think the Broadmoor Hotel Resort in Colorado Springs is the rich man's Zen. I left there with a renewed appreciation for the things that matter in life, or, more importantly, recognized what doesn't matter.

Over an exam. I was stressed like an air traffic controller on 9/11 over an exam. What a fool. Shit like an exam doesn't matter. I will pass, either this time or next. And it won't matter then, either.

Social conventions and institutions don't matter. In the least. All of our preening and posturing for the Jones'. Unimaginably silly. All our concerns about what people think of us. Profoundly retarded.

Funny, though, among all of that tranquility and understanding waiting to be understood, materialism and stupidity abounded. I loved it anyway.

Garden Of The Gods

Samantha and I thought we should get out and about--off campus. If something could humble me, this is what "it" would look like. And it would have a name like "Garden Of The Gods."

I have more pics, but blogger is having an aneurysm.

View From Our Balcony

You gotta love breakfast with a view. Colorado Springs has some amazing views.

The Golden Bee

Well we got hungry and so, at the recommendation of a friend, we stopped at the Golden Bee. Got the best steak, mushroom and potato pot pie ever. And a yard of beer. Check out the pic.